the count of monte cristo

My mother raised me with a love for the arts. When I was a mere one year old she took me to see the Broadway production of Beauty and the Beast; this was the first musical of many. Throughout my life, I have been privileged to see renditions of the most famous musicals of all time, including West Side Story, Wicked, Hairspray, The Lion King, Mary Poppins, and The Phantom of the Opera, among others. I have a deep love and respect for the well-written scripts, the memorable music, and the actors' and actresses' talent.

Given such an upbringing, it was easy for me to decide to see BYU's production of The Count of Monte Cristo (click here to read about behind-the-scenes makeup and costuming). Based on the book by Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo tells the story of Frenchman Edmond Dantes, profiling his life as he deals with love, betrayal, revenge, and forgiveness.

I thoroughly enjoyed the characters, plot, music, and fight scenes, but I also took away a needed life lesson. In the end of the play, Dantes states, "Learn to live, and forgive." I have thought much on this phrase, and have come to internalize it. When we choose to be bitter and hold grudges, we are impeding our ability to live joyfully. On the other hand, when we forgive, our load becomes lighter, we become free, and our lives become more fulfilling.

I think there are points in our lives--great and small--where we all refuse to forgive. I am guilty of this; I even can think of a few examples in my life right now. I will follow Dantes' advice and choose to forgive these people within the next week. I know that it will free my soul and allow me to find greater joy in life.

Grandpa Heppler

One of the great examples in my life is my grandfather, Larry Heppler. This week, he suffered a heart attack and has been staying in the hospital. My thoughts and prayers have been focused on him, and so I wold like to write about the influence he has been in my life. 

Grandpa Heppler grew up in a broken home; his mother was married five times, and he was never very close with his biological father. He realized that he needed something different, so when he married my grandmother, he decided that family would be first in his life. He wanted his children and grandchildren to have the experiences that he never had. I grew up being very close to my maternal extended family; we would eat Sunday dinner together, help each other with projects in the yard, and have monthly swim nights in my grandparents' pool. Our closeness as a family is due to the care and attention of Grandpa and Grandma Heppler.

My grandfather has also lived his life to the fullest, especially in regards to his career. Grandpa Heppler has done everything from raising rabbits to make fur coats, to piloting his own jet, to working as a dentist for the native people of Canada. I don't think there's anything he hasn't done!

Most importantly, Grandpa Heppler has a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I heard part of his testimony during this last Christmas break. Every year, my family gets together for a Christmas Family Home Evening, which includes a talent show, ice cream sundaes, and lots of laughter. This year, I had recently returned from my mission to Ukraine when the evening was held. Grandpa Heppler wrote a poem to me and all his other grandchildren who had served missions, which he shared with us as seen below:

My favorite line is, "Do not let your spirit retire." Grandpa Heppler is an example of this. He has always remained true to what he knows is right. He works to increase his knowledge of God, and influences others to do the same. Because of my grandfather, I too want to gain spiritual knowledge. I too want to serve the Lord with my whole heart. 

When I read the scriptures each day, when I pray, and when I attend church, I think of Grandpa Heppler. I will be more faithful in my worship because of who he is and what he has taught me. 

Thanks Grandpa, I love you.

брат малишкевич (Brother Malyshkevych)

I was thrilled when I learned that BYU started offering Ukrainian classes. Although I understand that the increase in global interest is probably related to current political issues, I prefer to think that it's because Ukrainian is a beautiful language that deserves to be appreciated. It flows, it's soft, and it can stand up to French and Italian in romanticism. But I'm a little biased.

So I signed up for Ukr 330. My class is made up of myself, eleven other returned missionaries with whom I served, and our teacher Brother Malyshkevych. Eastern Europeans tend to get a bad rap for being too stern and never smiling, but Ukrainians are different. They have suffered much, and yet have persevered. They have an innate beauty, softness, and humility--words I used to describe the language itself.

Brother Malyshkevych exemplifies the best of these qualities. In my opinion, he is extremely accomplished. He has finished university in Kiev, is currently studying at BYU, has translated for many General Authorities, and is raising a beautiful family. On a broader scale, he has lived through the fall of the Soviet Union, the organization and growth of the Church in Ukraine, and the building of the only temple in Eastern Europe.

Accolades aside, Brother Malyshkevych is one of the most humble men I know. He never flaunts his knowledge or brags of his experiences. Instead, he is consumed with gratitude. In addition, he understands that God is real, that He has a plan, and that we have a purpose on this earth. Lastly, Brother Malyshkevych has a great sense of humor. I believe that these qualities have allowed him to live a full life, even amid trials and challenges. 

After only two weeks of class, Brother Malyshkevych has already taught me valuable lessons. The one that compels me the most is humility stemming from gratitude. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin once stated, "Gratitude is a mark of a noble soul and a refined character. We like to be around those who are grateful. They tend to brighten all around them. They make others feel better about themselves. They tend to be more humble, more joyful, more likable." (see full text here)

I could work on my gratitude; it's not enough for me to just say thank you. It's about accepting the opportunities and obstacles placed in front of me, looking to God, and then looking around at everything He has blessed me with in order to succeed.

Thanks for the life lesson, Brother Malyshkevych.

smiles

When I tell most people that I want to major in Recreation Management, I get a sigh and an eye roll in return, which are most likely accompanied by visions of rock climbing and zip lines. I'll admit, I often feel the need to justify my decision by telling people of my "nobler" intentions of eventually working in Marriage and Family Therapy. I've even started to demean the major myself, so it wasn't a surprise when I went to my first RecM 300 class with a pessimistic attitude. We spent our time discussing definitions of "happiness," "the good life," and other seemingly fluffy terms. I wasn't amused.

Then I got an assignment to create a blog and I decided to write about my lemon candles (see previous post). I realized how hypocritical I was for writing about what makes me happy and at the same time criticizing my class for doing the same thing. 

So I went back to class with a refreshed perspective, and I came away with new knowledge. One idea that stood out to me was the effect that smiles have on longevity and overall life satisfaction. Do you know the difference between a Pan-Am smile and a Duchenne smile? A Pan-Am smile is the kind you force when your aunt pulls out the camera for the millionth time at the family reunion. On the other hand, a Duchenne smile is the genuine kind where the corners of your mouth and eyes crinkle. Any guesses as to which one increases happiness? 

Accordingly, I've made a resolution to increase the amount of Duchenne smiles that cross my face. When I'm happy, you'll know it. When I think your jokes are funny, you'll know it. And when I think your jokes are lame......you'll know it. I want to be genuine with my emotions.

I also think that drawing a Duchenne smile from others could be a lemon candle. Making people truly smile is the best!

the origins

Six weeks ago I returned from Ukraine, where I lived for 18 months as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I worked hard, slept little, and experienced much. Most importantly, I learned lessons that I won’t be soon to forget.

One of those lessons came at a particularly difficult point in my mission. I had every reason to be happy—my companion was kind, we had people to teach, the branch was growing—but I wasn’t. I was rather unhappy. And I couldn’t figure out how to get out of that funk. Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with people whose wisdom far exceeds my own, one of whom is my dear mother. She’s the smartest woman I know. At one point during this trying time, I received an enlightening email from her, which stated the following:

As I’ve seen tulips and thought of you, I’ve also thought of the ways for you to feel joy.  Perhaps it’s about taking time for you.  For instance, here are a few of the things that I do.  When I shower (hahahaha), I like to burn a lemon candle.  It’s just a little thing, but it brings me joy, and really is for me.  When I go to Deseret Book, I like to buy myself a mint chocolate truffle bar and eat it.  I like to go up to the bonus room, work on a project and watch ‘Law and Order’…You’re not doing anything ‘wrong,’ but men are that we might have joy.  Find your lemon candles, mint truffle bars, and Law and Order episodes.

Something in this letter clicked for me, and from that moment on I have searched for my own “lemon candles.” They range from dress store window displays to popcorn, and from runs with my best friend to aromatic Kleenex, but the point is that each of my lemon candles is something that is just for me and brings me a smidge of joy. Mom was so right.

Who’s ready to find their own lemon candles?